i've lost a part of myself and i dunno when or how. i feel so aimless and lifeless. everyday has become such a routine ... waking up and reporting for work. i've lost all my zeal and energy .. and i don't know why. and on top of that, i've become an irresponsible person; i carry out my duties in a half-f**ked manner and i just don't care. i really dunno how to describe what i'm feeling now. anger and hatred brewing at the core of my very being ... the constant urge to lash out and just scream at the people around me. am irritable and extremely violent most probably ... am trying very hard to suppress myself from exploding.

i hate my bunk mates. alot. maybe i'm saying this because i'm feeling so much rage now. i don't know and seriously i don't care. freaking bunch of low lifes who don't bother to clear up their mess. #1. bring food to the bunk, not so bad .. but want do they do after they finish eating? throw the packings and wrappers all over the place. #2. stupid scumbags smoke and smoke in the bunk ... leaving the ash trays all over ... then the ashes will fly and land EVERYWHERE. on top of that, all the clothes that we hang in our bunk reeks of smoke. and i HATE the smell. i hope they die from lung cancer. all of them.